


Light My Fire

by Doodlebloo



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: (to the best of my ability), Canon Compliant, Character Study??, Gratuitous Use Of Fire Metaphors, Hidden Powers, I.E They get revivified, M/M, Pining, Repression, The Bad Kids and other characters are all mentioned I just didn't wanna tag them, idk. take it, literally JUST pining that's all it is, spoilers for sophomore year for SURE, the major character death is both CANONICAL and TEMPORARY, this MAY be incoherent but honestly who's keeping track
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlebloo/pseuds/Doodlebloo
Summary: The sheet is too short to reach Riz.Fabian fully unfurls it, stretches both his arms as far as he can, thinks about fully letting go and grabbing The Ball midair, trying to tuck and roll and maybe take some of the damage for him. Despite his efforts, he's just a few feet shy of Riz, limp and unconscious and hurtling downwards, just like he was at the Row and the Ruction. Fabian, once again, is too slow and weak and incompetent to help him.Fabian screws his eye shut, half because he can't stand to watch Riz's body hit the ground and half because he feels like if he just believes hard enough, he can somehow save him.-I thought too hard about the time Fabian summoned a fire elemental that saved Riz's life and also kissed him and then nobody ever mentioned it again. This is the result.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 11
Kudos: 104





	Light My Fire

Fabian knows that Riz is dead before he even hears the sickening crunch of his spine snapping as Killian slams him into the ground so hard that he leaves a crater in the rock of the staircase.

That doesn't mean he doesn't hear it, though.

Fabian steels himself, returns himself to the fight, does not turn around, and starts a countdown in his head.

59, 58, 57...

Fabian doesn't turn around, because he knows if he actually _sees_ the body, sees his best friend lifeless on the ground, the situation he's in becomes real, and he knows he'll act irrationally and rush over to cradle him and that's not what anyone needs right now. So Fabian focuses on Gorgug, currently swinging an axe into the monster that stands between them, and tries to think rationally.

 _There's no sense in moving,_ he tells himself, taking a swipe or two, slashing and parrying through muscle memory. _What he needs is a revivify, and you don't have that spell, or any of the components for it. You need to stay here. Think. Use your brain._

53, 52, 51...

The treant lands a hit on Gorgug, and Gorgug lands three on it. _That's good_ , Fabian thinks. It's grounding, to be able to focus on this, a fight he can see in front of him. It's almost enough to distract him from what's going on behind him.

Fabian runs through every bard spell in his head, runs through everything he could possibly do to help, wonders how high he'd have to roll on a medicine check to raise the dead. He dodges and swipes and whips out his sheet and doesn't think he could stop himself from counting down internally if he tried.

31, 30, 29...

He's about to turn around, to rush over and shout at everyone, because what are they _d_ _oing_ , when he sees the treant raise a fist to hit Gorgug and the only coherent thought in his mind is " _absolutely **n** **ot**._"

Fabian springs forward and sweeps the treant's leg before he's even aware of what he's doing, running on instinct. It staggers, caught off guard, and slams its fist down just to the left of Gorgug, who yelps in surprise. Once Gorgug realizes what's happened, he grins.

"Spring Break, I believe in you," Fabian blurts, dodging the treant's attack on him. "I've lost one friend," and he hates the way his voice shakes as he speaks quickly, like if he says it fast enough he can keep himself from hearing it. "That's too many."

15, 14, 13...

He really has already lost one friend, hasn't he?

Fabian's countdown gets to 9 before he hears it, the sound of Fig's bass guitar as she shatters a ruby, (and, by the sound of it, shatters _Killian_ ) and then Ayda and Fig are talking excitedly and holy shit, is that Gortholax? Fabian allows himself to turn around and look, accepts the fact that the treant will get an opportunity attack on him, and focuses nearly all of his energy on not rushing over to the rest of his friends.

He watches Fig cradle Riz, ruby shard in hand, flirting with Ayda as she revivifies him. Riz's eyes shoot open, pupils slit, clearly panicking. He goes to speak, but immediately chokes ( _P_ _robably on blood_ , Fabian thinks darkly) and launches into a coughing fit, heaving as he bounces back from death. As soon as he gets his bearings, he looks up warily, breathing still jagged and uneven, and croaks out, "Am I interrupting something?"

Fabian lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, because that's _so_ in character, and he watches Riz scramble away from Fig and Ayda, tattered and bleeding and weak as hell but _a_ _live_. Fabian whirls around, slashing across the treant's back, because all of his friends are alive and he's going to make damn sure it stays that way.

But as he turns to rejoin the fight, Gorgug looks at him, worry in his eyes, brows knit, and Fabian knows that he must see right through him, because Gorgug has always been scarily accurate when it comes to guessing what Fabian is thinking.

"Fabian, let me handle this," calls Gorgug, confident in his tone. "You get out of here."

It's a nice gesture, giving him an out to run to Riz, but what he needs is to stay distracted, and he doesn't quite know how to convey that.

"Th- uh, well, I-," he starts, "I've spent a lot of time working on this as well, alright, I'd like to think it's like a... A group project." He's fighting as he talks, rambling on, keeping his mouth and his body busy like it will keep him from thinking entirely.

"If you want," offers Gorgug, "I'll get out of here."

Fabian mulls it over, thinking about the best course of action for them to take, wondering what it is that feels so _off_ to him about the past round of combat, and then it hits him.

During the fight, Fabian has been listening, paying more attention to everything around him than he thinks he ever has before, because he can't lose any of his friends and he isn't about to make another mistake that gets a group of people slaughtered. Fabian has been listening, and he realizes that it isn't what he's heard that scares him - it's what he hasn't. He hasn't heard a gunshot since Riz got up, knows Riz is in no state to brandish his sword, knows he's only up at one hit point, and his stomach sinks as he watches the treant slam a fist into Gorgug's side. He winces, but risks a look behind him.

Riz stumbles as he fires his gun, hands shaking, and he misses Kalina by a mile. She scoffs at him, mocking, and Riz backs up, trying desperately to find a hiding spot somewhere, not quite realizing that he's effectively backing himself off a cliff. In an instant, Kalina surrounds him, dozens of her trapping him within her horrific mirror circle, and it takes all of Fabian's willpower not to rush over. _You need to stay here,_ he reminds himself. _You and Gorgug are hard hitters. The magic users go after Kalina, you go after the tree. Use your brain._

Kalina laughs and stalks towards Riz with a confidence that sends a shiver down Fabian's spine as Fig's cutting words bounce off her with no effect. She looks down at Riz, and she grins.

"Yeah, I'll go," Fabian concedes, mouth and body both moving on autopilot as he makes his way to Riz, because he knows what the chances are of Riz surviving this attack. _Wait,_ cautions a voice in his head, _is this really the smart thing to do? You can't heal him, he doesn't need you. Use your brain._

He's almost beginning to doubt his split-second decision when he sees Kalina rear back and kick Riz off the staircase, sending him flying, hurtling towards the ground, his feather-falling vest useless in his unconscious state as he heads straight towards another instant death.

Fabian stops using his brain.

He does a 180 to look back at Gorgug, who is visibly panicked, and the panic seems to only worsen when he catches sight of Fabian, who must look like a _mess_ right now. "You got this," he shouts to Gorgug, obviously as an afterthought, and Gorgug is kind enough not to argue with him, kind enough to let him go, kind enough not to say anything when Fabian calls for the Hangman and his voice cracks. "Sure!" Yells Gorgug, not because he's actually fine on his own, but because he can tell that Fabian needs to go.

The Hangman gets hit on its way to him, the victim of a few opportunity attacks, but the Hangman is a motorcycle and The Ball is a goblin and Fabian can't let him die again, he can't, and as he rushes to him he realizes that he may not be fast enough, and he feels so frozen that he may as well be back at the row and the ruction.

* * *

He's back at the row and the ruction, and he's paralyzed, physically and mentally. Cathilda is next to him, trying to get him to move, to do something, _anything,_ and he should be fighting, and she should _certainly_ be fighting, but neither of them are.

Fabian is at the row and the ruction and he's paralyzed, and Adaine has been taken by elves, and there's no telling where she is or what she's going through or if her sacrifice was even enough, because they could very well all still die and Fabian can't do anything about it, even if he wanted to. (He does, desperately.)

Fabian stands at the bottom of the row and the ruction, close to the action but not close enough. Kristen stands a few feet away from him, equally paralyzed, equally helpless, taking half his damage for him - not because he asked her to, but because she cares, which somehow makes it so much worse. He can't help but feel like she wears paralysis a bit better than he does, though, even as Ragh desperately tries to shake her out of it.

Fabian is paralyzed at the row and the ruction, and Fig's shriek when Adaine gets kidnapped causes him to zone out completely for a round or two, unable to process what's happening around him. If he's learned anything in the past few days, though, it's that his mind and body will never let him catch a break, so he tunes back into the action just in time to watch the tragedies unfold.

Fabian is at the row and the ruction and he's watching Gorgug take damage, _so_ much damage, and somehow stay up anyway. He watches Sandra Lynn heal him, watches as Gorgug falls immediately afterwards.

And Fabian wishes more than anything that he had stayed zoned out so he wouldn't have had to hear Gorgug call his name right before dropping, right before he has a beak around his face and his brain is about to be eaten, because Fabian should _be_ there, should be defeating Captain James handily, should be teaching him a lesson about touching his friends.

And yet.

Fabian stands at the bottom of the row and the ruction, looking up, paralyzed, and he sees The Ball, brave and witty and wonderful, melt out of the shadows and take a shot. He watches as Captain James' chest bursts, as he falls backwards, writhing in pain, and goes still.

That makes sense, he thinks. The Ball deserves to kill Captain James. He deserves that crown. He deserves to be the hero.

Riz reaches for the crown, and Captain James, faster than either of them can see, grabs Riz's wrist and shoots him in the head, point blank.

Fabian vaguely hears something about "The oldest trick in the book", vaguely sees Captain James's sword puncture Riz's chest twice for good measure, vaguely hears Fig shout again, but if he's being honest, he's a little distracted by the way his stomach drops and his blood runs cold, and if he wasn't paralyzed, he's sure he'd be sick.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster stands at the bottom of the row and the ruction, looking up in frozen horror as his best friend is shot and killed, watches the way his body convulses when he is stabbed, and as luck would have it, Fabian is at a perfect angle to see the blood that oozes from Riz's mouth as he speaks, quietly but clearly, scared and desperate.

"Fabian?"

Riz's body tumbles down into the row, presumably being beaten to a pulp and brought closer to permanent death by the fistfight happening there (not that Fabian can turn to look, because, well, paralysis.)

Fabian is frozen, frozen to this spot, blood cold at the sight of Riz's body, hypothermia giving him several levels of exhaustion, and he doesn't know if he even remembers what it's like to be warm.

He has to snap out of it, he thinks.

This is it. Gorgug and Fig could use his help, or at the very least, he could go and drag Riz away from the row. This is his moment, his big comeback, he's sure of it.

Fabian fails his save again.

A chill runs down his spine.

The fight ends in the next round, Fig destroying Captain James with a strum of her bass, and by the time he zones back in Cathilda is by his side attempting to reassure him and The Ball is there, injured but alive, bullet hole still in his forehead, and Fabian knows he could've prevented it if he weren't such a coward, if he weren't useless and stupid, and Leviathan is more of a tropical climate so it really doesn't make sense that Fabian feels so _cold_ , and-

* * *

In the present, Fabian shakes his head as he leaps off the Hangman. He isn't going to fail a second time.

"Sire," calls the Hangman as Fabian sprints up the stairs. "Go save Your Ball. I don't understand why you like him, but he matters to you, it seems."

If he had the time to be caught off guard, to dramatically stop in his tracks and scold the Hangman for insinuating how important The Ball was to him, he would've. Or, maybe the old Fabian would've.

Maybe the new Fabian, the one who dances and hugs Gorgug when he's upset and plays with fire, figuratively and literally, wouldn't care as much about dismissing claims like that.

 _His_ Ball.

Huh.

He doesn't have much time to dwell on it as he races up the stairs. "Neither do I," he admits, because he doesn't, doesn't think he could list a singular trait that explains why Riz means so much to him, "There's just... Something endearing about him."

As he reaches the edge of the stairs, Fabian allows himself a second to try and figure it out.

What is it that's so endearing about Riz?

Fabian drops over the side, hanging onto the stairs by just the tips of his fingers, and looks down as he dangles there. Riz falls lifelessly through the air, sword somehow still gripped tightly in his hand in the most heroic version of rigor mortis Fabian can imagine. He's still wearing the new gear he got from heaven, hat now long abandoned, and maybe it's the fact that he's usually so emotive with his face or maybe it's the fact that he doesn't sleep, but seeing him unconscious and still feels so _wrong_. He should be furrowing his brow and baring his teeth as he lands a solid shotgun blast through an enemy's chest, darting away to hide, or he should be winding thread around a corkboard with nimble fingers and an insane thought process you can see mapped across his face, or saying something so unbelievably dorky that all his friends groan in unison while he keeps the same stupid grin on his face.

A voice in the back of Fabian's mind pipes up, a voice he decides he hates:

_Isn't everything kind of endearing about Riz?_

Fabian blinks, and Riz falls, wind whipping around him, and Fabian thinks Riz must be _freezing_ , so he grabs his sheet and decides to fix that.

The sheet is too short to reach Riz.

Fabian fully unfurls it, stretches both his arms as far as he can, thinks about fully letting go and grabbing The Ball midair, trying to tuck and roll and maybe take some of the damage for him. Despite his efforts, he's just a few feet shy of Riz, limp and unconscious and hurtling downwards, just like he was at the Row and the Ruction. Fabian, once again, is too slow and weak and incompetent to help him.

Fabian screws his eye shut, half because he can't stand to watch Riz's body hit the ground and half because he feels like if he just believes hard enough, he can somehow save him.

He shuts his eye and remembers that he's a bard now, and he's in touch with his emotions, and maybe there's some kind of Elven Magic he has that he didn't know about, or maybe Gilear isn't the chosen one and it's actually Fabian, or maybe he's just so desperate to have The Ball safe in his arms that he thinks if anyone could bend reality right now, it's him. His blood is pumping hot and he's sweating from exertion and he feels like a raging wildfire.

Fabian suddenly feels a warmth blossom in his chest, growing larger the more he concentrates, like the fanning of a flame.

He embraces it, leans into the warmth as it grows and increases in temperature, and his eye is still shut but he can see how bright he's glowing on the back of his eyelid. Eventually, something poses a question in the back of his mind, as if it can sense how strongly and openly and passionately he's _feeling_. " _What do you want?_ " It seems to ask.

He answers it without hesitation, with no idea if he's speaking in his mind or speaking aloud, but he manifests the thought and feels it, more raw and sincere than he's let himself feel anything in a long time.

"I want Riz safe."

Fabian feels the comforting warmth in his chest surge, and when he opens his eye to look down, he's glowing bright enough to have to squint. Fire sprouts from his fingertips, encircling his forearm as it roils through his sheet, and, okay, maybe he _is_ the chosen one, because he has absolutely no idea what's happening, but as he starts trying to rationalize it the fire begins to flicker, so he goes back to concentrating on his request, concentrating on openly and genuinely _feeling_.

_He needs Riz safe, needs him to be okay, needs him alive and smiling and happy, needs him in his arms, needs him close, needs him to know Fabian is there..._

A fire elemental, the same one that kissed him in Fallinel, appears from the flames at the end of his sheet, and Fabian should be shocked and confused and a billion other things, but his first thought is honestly just _Don't burn Riz_.

The fire elemental seems to sense his fear, and Fabian watches it be as gentle as possible as it grabs Riz and begins wrapping him in the sheet, careful to make sure he's not in danger of falling out. He can see how careful the elemental is being, but his blood is still pumping and he still has so much adrenaline and he's still so _scared_ , and he thinks maybe this is what Gorgug feels like when he rages because everything around him is passion and panic and burning red and even though he knows it's useless he growls at his fire elemental and hisses out, "Be _careful_."

The elemental glances at him when he says this, eyebrow raised, playful smirk, and Fabian is suddenly hyperaware of the fact that it can read his emotions. His face heats up, which he attributes to exertion, and also the fact that he's _conjuring literal fire_.

The elemental gives him another glance, long and lingering like it's speaking without words, and turns back to Riz. It leans down, brushes away one of the stray curls on Riz's cheek, and plants a soft kiss on his face before sending him back up to Fabian.

And Fabian's blushes harder, because, okay, he hadn't told it to do _that_ , why would it do that, wasn't it supposed to be able to read his emotions or something? Fabian has no desire to kiss Riz, so the fire elemental must have been reading into things, and he accepts this as fact even as it winks at him before disappearing back into his fingertips.

None of that matters now, though, because Riz is here, and Fabian is holding him, bridal style, swaddled in a sheet, and if anything so much as _looks_ at him Fabian is more than ready to rage.

Riz, still unconscious, shifts in Fabian's arms, gravitating towards the warmth still glowing in Fabian's chest, nuzzling closer and taking a shaky breath. Fabian breathes a sigh of relief when he recognizes it as a successful death save. He looks down at Riz, bruised and bloody and so, _so_ small, and Fabian knows that he's smart and strong and capable and that he's killed a dragon and clawed his way out of a palympsest and saved Fabian's ass more than a few times along the way, but right now he looks so _fragile_ , and Fabian can almost still see the bullet hole in his forehead as he swears, silently, not to fail him this time.

The battle continues.

They both get healed by Kristen, and Riz gasps back to consciousness in his arms, reaching for his gun immediately, panicking when he realizes he's partially restrained, and softening completely when he meets Fabian's gaze. "Hi," Riz murmurs.

Fabian chuckles, and if he's too fragile with Riz as he sets him down, neither of them mention it. He makes sure Riz is in front of him on the Hangman (he doesn't need to steer, the Hangman is a big dog now, which he honestly thinks is really cool) because if anything attacks on their way to Kalina, Fabian wants to be able to shield The Ball with his body. Riz looks at him funny as Fabian gets on behind him, but again, neither of them mention anything.

They keep fighting.

Adaine dies, which is horrible, and Fabian can't stop thinking about the horn through her chest, and the horn through Kristen's chest (which, just his luck, he was the only one that saw), and he grips his sword tighter as she gets revivified and promises, _swears_ that no more of his friends are going to die today.

He sees right through Kalina's mirror image; slashes into the real her and watches Fig do the same. Fabian looks to the Hangman, about to tell it to attack, when he sees The Ball stand up and raise his gun. Fabian almost tells him to sit back down, or to take cover, because he still looks awful, but before the words can pass through his lips, something incredible happens.

Riz, balancing himself on the Hangman's back, gun raised, readjusts his tie to aim it at Kalina, reaches into his briefcase, and takes out a mirror. The whole battle seems to momentarily pause and hold their breath as Riz throws the mirror, putting a spin on it so has both his camera lens and Kalina in frame. In one shot, Riz sinks a bullet perfectly through the center of the mirror and into the center of Kalina's chest.

(Riz still doesn't have his hat on, and his hair bounces when his gun discharges, ringlets of perfect curls, and he wipes the blood off of his mouth with the back of his tattoed forearm and Fabian feels like he's never _seen_ Riz like this before, suave and confident and handsome, and then he thinks that maybe Riz has always been like this and he's just never noticed, but how could he not notice _this_? Fabian looks down, and he's surprised when his chest isn't glowing, because it feels warm again, warmer than last time, and he begs his fire elemental to pop out again so he has someone to blame it on.)

Kalina screams in pain as bits of mirror shower everyone around her. Fabian has to flinch to avoid getting it in his eye, and when he opens it, The Ball is gone.

Master of stealth, Fabian remembers. Right.

He doesn't see Riz again for a round or so, but then Fig lays into the back of Kalina's knees with her bass guitar, and Fabian hears a gun cock, and this time he's even more surprised his fire elemental doesn't appear because there's an inferno raging in his gut as he realizes what's about to happen. He raises Kalina's chin with the tip of his sword, grins at the fear in her eyes.

"You dont have to do this, kid," she begs, and from behind him, he hears Riz, cold and confident in his tone.

"Mission accomplished, dad."

The gun fires. Kalina screams, and her form writhes and fractures and finally (finally) fades from the world. Fig catches Fabian's eye, grinning wildly and rushing off to find Ayda, and Fabian turns around.

Riz Gukgak stands on the back of the Hangman, four foot nothing and covered in blood, holstering his dad's gun after having delivered the final blow to the big bad for the _second_ time in a row, after having somehow avenged his father's death _again_ , and he grins up at Fabian through a mouth full of fangs, eyes sparkling under the mop of curls splayed across his forehead.

"Was that cool?"

Riz has been asking Fabian if he is or is not cool since the beginning of Freshman year, and nearly every time, the answer has been a resounding "no" - at first because he genuinely thought Riz was a dork, and then later because he _knows_ him, and how can you think someone is badass or cool when you know that before you came along, the only person they regularly texted was their mom, and they still consider her one of their closest friends, and that they actually prefer coffee with cream but "don't have the time" to add it so they drink it black, and that they were so nervous to give you your half of the best friend necklace set over the Holidays that you had to physically grapple them and take the gift box to get it?

Fabian looks at him now, though, and falls silent. He can't figure out how to articulate any of his thoughts, and he _hates_ it, because he normally isn't able to _stop_ articulating his thoughts. He doesn't really know what he's thinking, though. "You're the coolest person I've ever met" would sound sarcastic, and it also isn't entirely true. Calling Riz cool is a disservice to him - he _is_ cool, but there's a billion other things about him that Fabian also wants to mention, wants to tell him he notices.

He recalls the conversation he had with the Hangman earlier. "I don't know why you like him." And he had replied, "There's just something about him that's endearing."

Maybe it really _was_ everything.

Luckily, Fabian doesn't have to say anything, because Kristen ascends into the sky and turns the Nightmare King into Cassandra and saves the day and tells them she loves them, "Riz the most," and The Ball preens at that and Fabian bites his tongue before he can say "I bet I've got you beat," because the heat of battle is wearing off and his adrenaline is slowing down and he realizes that absolutely not, he is not ever going to say something like that, oh my God.

Cassandra picks them all up and sorts them all out, and Fabian's friends tease him about his fears, and Fabian is already rattled from temporarily embracing his emotions, so Cassandra's insistence that Chungle-Down Bim was actually real are not helping him calm down.

They make a stop at Leviathan, and Fabian tries anything he can not to think about everything awful that happened to him here, tries to keep his mind away from drowning in the ocean and the row and the ruction and Captain James and his hypothermia and all of the people who idolized him, who he led into battle to be killed, and Alistair Ash- He's several layers deep in his own mind when Kristen starts talking about him and _Aelwyn_ , which is kind of insane to him, because how could he possibly be thinking about Aelwyn right now, even if she is here with them for the first time? And so he flounders, and jokingly entertains the idea that Aelwyn could hypothetically date his mom, and Aelwyn stays quiet, and as soon as he's able, Fabian stays quiet right back.

The Bad Kids return to Elmville, right at the beginning of their Spring Break (thanks to Arthur Aguefort's magic watch), and if Fabian is quiet as Cassandra carries them in the final stretch home, it's simply because he's tired from the battle. It has nothing to do with the fact that he's watching Riz laugh as he talks to Gilear, nose scrunched up and a flush across his cheeks, and it's bizarre that Fabian could consider him attractive because he looks so himself, so The Ball.

 _His_ Ball, Fabian's mind supplies.

They arrive in Elmville just as Fabian feels like he's on the brink of something, and he's more than happy to compartmentalize it and tuck it away in the back of his mind for later. (Or, he thinks, maybe never. Never sounds pretty good to him.) They all arrive at Mordred Manor, and someone initiates a group hug, and they all revel in the fact that they're here, they're _alive_ , they _made it_ , and the feeling is nearly overwhelming. They hug, and cry, and discuss how cool and brave they all were and how much they all love each other, and it's so sappy and sweet that it's almost too much to bear.

Eventually, though, they disappate - Gorgug runs off to find Zelda, and Kristen goes to set up a hammock with Tracker, and Riz mentions something about going to see his mom down at the station. Fabian doesn't offer him a ride, doesn't think he can handle it, (which is weird. "Handle it"? What does that even mean?) but he grabs Riz's arm as he goes to leave.

"Hey," Fabian starts, and when Riz turns to look at him he looks away, because somehow eye contact also seems like too much right now. "What's up?" asks Riz, and there are a million things Fabian wants to say to him, all of them confusing and most of them embarrassing, so a solid bit of silence stretches out before he finally settles on something.

"I'm glad you're okay," he mumbles, and when he risks a glance at Riz he sees that this was, apparently, the perfect thing for him to say.

Riz _gazes_ up at him, genuine smile on his face, hat _still off_ , goddamnit, Fabian is really going to have to find that thing, and chuckles softly. "I'm glad you're okay, too."

Fabian has a feeling that The Ball is doing that thing where he says something simple but it has hidden meaning, because his voice is all fuzzy and sweet, but then The Ball grabs Fabian's wrist and squeezes and they're both _holding wrists_ now and Fabian doesn't think he can even remember his own name. He must blush or look like he's about to pass out or _something_ , because Riz's eyes widen, and he pulls away suddenly, scratching the back of his neck. Fabian is still trying to regain his composure when Riz speaks up again.

"Uh... Spring break?" He offers, holding out a hand, and Fabian isn't sure how possible it is to make a best friend handshake deeply meaningful, but as they complete their ritual, he certainly tries.

Bravery strikes, just an once of it, and he looks Riz straight in the eyes. "I believe in you," he confesses, slowly, enunciating every part of the words, sincerity dripping from his voice as he tries to emulate The Ball's way of saying one thing and meaning another. Riz's face heats up to the point that Fabian can almost feel it. "Uh, I, uh, yeah," he splutters, avoiding eye contact, "I. I believe, um. I believe in you too," and he looks up at Fabian as he's finally able to say it back (Say it back, Fabian thinks, has connotations he isn't sure he's ready for yet), and for a moment they just stand in the driveway of Mordred Manor, sharing some sort of private moment Fabian can't even fully comprehend.

And then, of course, Riz has to go.

His crystal makes a sound, the tiniest ping, but it makes him jump like someone's just grabbed his shoulder. He checks it, makes a face Fabian can't quite decipher, and glances back at him. "I- that's my mom, so, I'd better... I should probably go."

On the word "go", Riz's voice cracks. Riz winces. Fabian feels the smallest hints of a smirk on his face.

"Right, yes, of course. Give Sklonda my best, Riz."

And thank Cassandra he'd already planned to turn on his heel and make for the Hangman, because he doesn't realize he's called Riz by name until about three full seconds afterwards. Fabian stops in his tracks.

"I will, Fabian," beams Riz, and Fabian is suddenly upset that he can't see him because he can _hear_ how wide he's smiling just from his voice, Riz's words somehow sounding _bright_ , and then the warmth is back, and Fabian thinks if the fire elemental in his chest likes Riz so much, it should go make _him_ the chosen one, because he's not a fan of what it's doing to his insides when Riz is around. Fabian stands there and wrestles with himself for what feels like ages, trying not to turn around, to keep walking, to appear nonchalant, but he has the mental image in his mind already of Riz, grinning at him, cheeks dusted with a blush, and Fabian caves and turns around.

Riz isn't there.

Level 10 Rogue. Right.

That's fine, Fabian thinks, climbing onto the Hangman. He'll see Riz eventually. It doesn't matter how soon it is. He so very doesn't care.

He still feels hot, in his face and his chest and in how his mind feels like an ice cube left in a hot car, but he's sure that will pass. He's sure he'll wake up in bed tomorrow and feel completely normal again, any trace of the light beaming from his chest when The Ball says his name or the burning at his fingertips when he reaches to touch him once again buried under a few layers of cold.

Fabian, exhausted in every sense of the word, goes home and reunites with his Mama and Cathilda, and does not think about Riz at all. His dreams are all about him being a dashing pirate captain or daring adventurer and saving the day. They are absolutely not about their first shrimp party, about him seeing The Ball cry and being determined to cheer him up, about him wrapping his sheet around Riz and pulling him close, so close that their foreheads touch and he can feel Riz's breath on his face, murmuring "I believe in you," because it's all he can think to say.

And when he wakes up in the middle of the night once his dreams turn to nightmares, he does not look to the empty chair in his room as if he'll see Riz there, tattoed arms crossed over his chest as he sleeps with his sword in his lap and his gun at his side, silently protecting Fabian. Riz, who was the only one there to notice when Fabian was thrown into a cold, dark ocean, who fought as hard as he could to rescue Fabian, to cheer him up, to get him to bounce back and dance and kiss a fire elemental and finally be warm again. Fabian doesn't do any of those things, because The Ball is his friend, and that's all, and as he thinks this the glow from his chest dampens, and that's fine by him.

* * *

Riz Gukgak plugs in his crystal and starts sifting through the footage he'd gotten with his tie. His mom gets off in a few hours, and he fully intends to have a 100 slide PowerPoint and a glass of wine ready for her when she arrives.

He tweaks the footage as he goes, making sure he didn't accidentally film any of his friends being horny or doing drugs or any of the other very cool things they do, trimming down parts that are long and boring. (He decides to keep the video of Gilear's Big Day at its full length, as a treat.) He cuts down some of the more heartbreaking scenes, like Kristen begging him to find Tracker as she nearly dies, or Baron trying to convince him that his friends and family would all eventually abandon him.

Riz realizes with a start that he'd kind of been under the impression the footage would be less...

Dark.

Right on time to prove his point, Riz watches himself die.

He flinches, hard, as he hears his own spine snap, and has to pause, to take a moment and collect himself and try not to be sick. He does the breathing exercises Adaine taught him, reminds himself that he's safe, and presses play.

He watches himself lie on the ground, lifeless, for what ends up being terrifyingly close to a full minute before Fig hits a power chord and bursts out of Killian's chest in a display that, admittedly, is cool enough to warrant keeping in his PowerPoint despite the grotesque amount of gore. Riz watches Fig cast revivify, watches as she and Ayda flirt over his corpse (and sends a screenshot of this to Fig, passive aggressive but joking), and watches himself come back, gasping and coughing and asking if he was interrupting. He he has to pause again as Kalina is about to kick him over the side.

It's hard, rewatching himself be killed and knocked unconscious, especially so soon after the fact, because the fear is still residual and it takes him three tries not to reel back and throw up his hands in defense when he sees her rear back.

He watches as his body goes flying, and then he realizes that he doesn't actually remember this part at all, doesn't know how he got rescued, and didn't ask; One minute he was free-falling to his death, and the next, he was cradled in Fabian's arms.

...He must've been pretty close to death.

He continues with the footage, hears the Hangman approach, hears it say something to Fabian, something he can't make out over the wind surrounding his body as he falls. However, Riz _does_ manage to make out what Fabian says, though he has to crank the volume and replay it a few times.

"I don't know either," shouts Fabian, throwing himself over the side of the staircase so recklessly it makes Riz's breath catch, "There's just something endearing about him!"

Riz frowns, flushing. Something endearing... about him?

He must have been really, _really_ close to death.

As he turns back to the video, he sees Fabian fling the sheet at him, unfurling it to grab him and - wait, he thinks, this doesn't make any sense.

The sheet is too short. It won't reach him.

Past Fabian seems to realize this as well, and Riz sees as he shuts his eye, screwing his face up and concentrating hard on something. He sees Fabian's expression change, softening only slightly into something more raw, almost tender, and so open that Riz almost feels like he's intruding to be seeing it. Fabian's grip on the sheet tightens, and a faint glow begins to come from his chest. Fabian stays like that, for a moment, expression growing more and more intense, and then his breath hitches like something's happened and he sets his jaw and speaks.

"I want Riz safe," he begs.

Riz pauses the video.

That can't be right.

Riz gets up. He walks around his whole room, scanning the perimeter. The first thing he'd done upon arriving home was remove every reflective surface he could from his room, but he double and triple checks there are none. He inspects every aspect of this video, rolls a high enough investigation to tell it hasn't been tampered with. He rewinds the video and watches that last part again, so he can check to make sure Fabian isn't possessed.

(He doesn't rewind because he wants to hear it again. That would be ridiculous.)

Despite his doubt, the video continues, and Riz's jaw nearly drops as he sees the fire coil itself down Fabian's arm in response to him speaking.

A full blown fire elemental bursts from the end of Fabian's sheet, wrapping Riz with more gentleness and care than what should be possible from a being made of flames.

Despite this, though, he still hears Fabian hiss, "Be careful," and Riz, incredulous, thinks he _couldn't_ have been _that_ close to death, not close enough for _this_. Even if he had fully died, Fabian outwardly showing this much care and concern was...

Unprecedented.

In the video, the elemental hears Fabian's chastising, and leans in, and....

Present Riz's hand flies to his face.

Was that a kiss on the cheek?

The elemental wraps him up and Riz's head spins. He runs through every illusion he can think of in his mind, trying to figure out how someone could've replaced the video from his tie with a fake one.

Then he remembers: the livestream. He had been livestreaming the battle, and it should've been saved by _some_ one, surely, so all he has to do is find the video...

He finds the livestream easily, skips to the timestamp, waiting to see something different, something that makes more sense, but it's still Fabian, gazing down at him, arm still slightly smoking. Riz has never seen Fabian look like this before, worried but relieved and protective and a myriad of other things. The expression he wears is so earnest, so vulnerable in a way that just doesn't add up for Fabian.

Riz realizes with a start that Fabian probably hadn't realized he was being recorded.

He had forgotten about the tie.

Past Riz gets revived. He shoots Kalina. Kristen turns the nightmare king into Cassandra. The video ends.

Riz sits in the dark for a full five minutes, unmoving, before he's able to muster his first coherent thought.

What the fuck was _t_ _hat_?

How did Fabian summon a fire elemental? Why had he never been able to do it before? Had it been there since Fallinel? Did Fabian know about it? Why hadn't it burnt him?

Why did Fabian's fire elemental kiss Riz?

He takes a breath, stands up, grabs some thread and a corkboard, and starts processing his emotions the only way he knows how.

Riz Gukgak, returned from his literal nightmare of a spring break, mere hours after tearing down the evidence from his walls in an act of catharsis, begins working on solving a new mystery. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes I know the tie can only record like ten minutes of video in canon but please humor me, and also weren't they LIVE??? Didn't they LIVESTREAM this battle? I think about that every day.)
> 
> Anyway, idek if this is any good I just started spiraling over this interaction when I rewatched the finale at 3 am. Maybe I'll write something more cohesive (and more coherent) soon so look out for that, ok ily bye


End file.
